I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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