how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
