I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
