All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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