I must be too annoying 4 u.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
do herpes really smell.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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