She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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