I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
