During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
