Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
