I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
