Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
