laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
