What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
