Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
