summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
