Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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