the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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