so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
