you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
one might say we're banned from that church
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
