I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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