it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
