What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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