Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
