chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
