sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
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