God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
