I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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