He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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