Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
