Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You left your phone here
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