Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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