Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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