I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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