you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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