conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
