Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
