You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
