It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
