I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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