we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
