those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
