She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
