Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
