he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
