Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
