I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
