If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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