dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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