ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
