Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
