I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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